My editor Kristine Princevalle won a copy of No Going Back from LDS Publisher and has agreed to let me read and review it on my blog. I’m not sure what my response will be. This isn’t a topic I am comfortable with, yet I will review it according to what my standards are for a good book–well-written, believable characters, honest portrayal of life events, and thought-provoking. I’ll post the review on my blogsppot blog.

Now if you will allow me to intrude on your blog and mention my own subject–I wrote a novel, Uncut Diamonds, that was released in July by WiDo Publishing. I never intended or supposed it would be controversial, unlike you who must have fully expected readers to either love your book or hate it. However, guess what–anyone who has read my novel seems to have strong opinions either way. What a surprise. I posted about this on my other blog at http://karenjonesgowen.vox.com. I would love to have you stop by and see what you think. In fact, I would like very much to send you a copy to read and review and maybe you can tell me why this dang novel has inspired such controversy???

I wish you every success with No Going Back. It’s a hard sell, (like mine apparently) but if we don’t write the hard sell occasionally, then what’s the point? Someone has to venture out to break new ground, and if it works, then it’s incredible for author, publisher and literary culture. And if it doesn’t, it’s just one more hard sell. I hope yours works.

You know I love your book and admire your courage to paint an accurate picture of the challenge.

I do want to say to Neil that I am a gay man who has stayed in the church, married a wonderful woman, who lives authentically, and who is truly happy. Not the kind of happiness that comes from doing whatever I want or what I think I “should” be doing. I’m talking about a deep happiness and personal peace. My life is very rich and I feel completely fulfilled by meaningful and intimate relationships.

I am not the type to say that I don’t believe other men can make the choice to “come out” and find happiness in that choice. I don’t doubt that is possible. I’m not claiming that staying in the church is the only option. I don’t doubt that some men in similar situation are miserable. But I do take offense when people try to pretend of convince others that people like me don’t exist. I have dozens of friends who have made similar choices to mine and they are also truly happy.

Again, Jonathan does a great job of portraying the challenge of same-sex attraction accurately and realistically.

You are amazingly brave and I am truly grateful for what you have written. I don’t know if I am strong enough to read it, but I wanted to thank you for your courage. Your courage to be realistic; to make an attempt to paint Mormons truthfully; your courage to not create a happy, spiritual ending in three pages the way many in our faith seem to expect Mormon literature to be; your courage to submit yourself to the barrage of criticism you’ll recieve. Thank you. I hope to be brave enough to publish similarly some day.

That said, I’d like to ask: Have you read it? Those with experience in this dilemma who have read the book and commented in places where I’ve seen those comments have generally said that I do a very good job of capturing just how hard it is to live this way – that is, as a believing Mormon who also has these kinds of feelings. Are you disagreeing with that? Or are you simply disagreeing with the choices my character makes? Or disagreeing with my goal for writing this story as set forth in this blog?

There are, I think, many stories out there about people whose religious beliefs and orientation conflict who ultimately choose to abandon or change their religious beliefs. Relatively fewer, however, describe the experiences of those who choose to stay true to their religious beliefs. In particular, there’s very little in the way of fiction that addresses Mormons who are same-sex attracted but attempt to live by the standards the LDS Church teaches. That’s the kind of story this was meant to be.

Nowhere in my novel do I say this is an easy choice. In many ways, it makes things more difficult for people, as I show in my book – which you would know if you have in fact read it. However, if someone is a believing Mormon, then there are reasons for trying to live those standards regardless of the difficulties. I try to show that in my book too.