No Going Back Comments

Hi all,

The purpose of this page is to let people leave their comments about my novel, No Going Back. Comments can be anonymous, although it will be most helpful if you can give some kind of indication of who you are and where you’re coming from: e.g., Mormon or non-Mormon, young or old, earthling or alien.

Comments are subject to moderation prior to posting. I’m okay with negative comments, but I want to avoid comments that are off-topic or disrespectful of me or others.

My hope is that those who have read my book will have a desire to talk about what they thought of it. Hence this page.

21 Responses to “No Going Back Comments”

  1. Jonathan says:

    Following is an email, posted with permission here (my response follows below):

    Dear Jonathan,

    I just finished reading your book, “No Turning Back,” and at the end of it, you invited readers to “join the conversation.” Thank you for the invitation.

    The main character you created, Paul, captured my heart, and I wept for him. He was easy to identify with because he could have been my gay partner, Paul, or me. Paul and I have been together now for nearly 16 happy years. We came from LDS families with pioneer roots, and my father was a Bishop and Stake President through my growing up years. Paul was the bishop of an LDS ward. We served missions, were married in the temple and fathered children.

    In your book, Paul’s friend Chad reminded me of a close friendship I had in my early teen years. When I was a priest, I had a loving bishop, similar to Chad’s father, Richard. However my bishop would not have known what I was talking about had I told him I was Gay. I did not hear that word until my 20s. Homosexuality was not on anyone’s radar screen in my teen years, in the 1950s. I could not begin to understand my sexuality because I did not have the terminology or the concepts. I have always lived in Salt Lake Valley, as have my parents and siblings.

    When I fell in love with my missionary companion, it created a crisis, which I discussed with my mission president. He loved and respected me, and he allowed me to complete my mission because I had not committed a sin. He told me that homosexuality is the temptation of Satan and my eternal salvation depended on my ability to withstand such temptations. He asked me if I could get an erection and I answered yes. He then said my eternal salvation also required me to marry. He then gave me pointers of how to avoid temptation.

    * Never tell another person about my same sex attraction.
    * Never associate with other known homosexuals.
    * Never read any of the scientific or psychological literature because it was the work of the devil.
    * Never seek the advice of professional psychologists, counselors or psychiatrists because their work is inspired by the devil, and if I did need counseling, seek it from the brethren.
    * Never look at or read pornographic literature—no DVDs or internet back then.

    I followed that advice. As a result, I was bound, gagged and locked in the closet for many years.

    I had a life long interest in science, which lead to a 31-year teaching career. I received my training at the University of Utah. I have taught a variety of high school science classes, and the last years before retirement, I taught A.P. Biology and a popular chemistry class for students not planning a science career. I taught nature classes for the Boy Scouts of America for two summers at Camp Steiner. Working with young people in a forested camp was valuable training for my career. After Paul and I retired, we were asked by students at West High School in Salt Lake City to pioneer a gay-straight alliance, because there were no teachers on staff willing to take on that responsibility. I have had a rich and satisfying career.

    I did marry, as instructed by my mission president. It was a flawed and unstable marriage. Statistics provide evidence that most marriages with a gay spouse have a poor success rate. Innocent women and children, unwittingly become victims of these ill-advised marriages. Both my wife and I suffered clinical depression and my wife was left emotionally damaged when we divorced after 21 years.

    I tell this personal history, because I brought my life experience to your novel. I read with hopefulness, that it could inform Mormons about a topic they seem unable or unwilling to deal with. I offer my observations in kindness and respect. I admire your writing skill and wish I could equal your talent. I would use it to write my own memoir.

    Now for some observations related to your well-crafted novel.

    * Your novel is most commendable for its example of unconditional love. In it, Paul’s mother, friend Chad and the Bishop, all treat him in loving respectful ways. With help, he weathers a crisis and remains intact, something many gay kids never experience. Dr. Caitlin Ryan, PhD. ACSW, Director, Family Acceptance Project at San Francisco State University, has gathered impressive documentation that GLTB teens that experience love and acceptance, are far less likely to engage in self-destructive behavior such as alcohol, tobacco, drugs, sexual addiction and suicide. Visit her website at or at

    * The character Paul that you created is a fine young man with plans, goals for the future, self-discipline and moral responsibility. Anyone should be grateful to have a son like him. Probably many people do not associate such character traits with someone who is gay.

    * I think if I were a high school student in Paul’s predicament, and I read your book, I would be persuaded not to come out until much later, which from my experience with the gay-straight alliance (GSA), is probably a good idea. High school can be a cruel experience for gay kids and middle school is even worse. The New York Times ran a featured article that kids are increasingly coming out in middle school. When Paul and his mother move to Utah, he is wishing to return to his comfortable closet. The books title, “No Turning Back,” alludes to the impossibility of doing this. On the other hand, in school and church functions, a ready-made slot is prepared for heterosexual kids to slip into a comfortable niche, which affirms their sexuality. No such option is available to gay teens. As a high school student, I could find no satisfaction from the multitude of activities made to fit the heterosexual kids. I concluded there was something seriously wrong with me in ways beyond my understanding. The GSA can ameliorate some of this. Kids from the Salt Lake Area found enormous satisfaction when we held “The Other Prom,” and they were allowed to bring a same sex partner.
    * In the five years experience with the West High GSA, the kids we saw were unconventional in many ways. They had all broken away from the heard. Most of them took college prep courses and were conscientious students. The only active Mormon to attend also fit this pattern. He wanted to serve a mission, but he was rejected, possibly because everybody knew about his sexual orientation. The rejection profoundly affected his attitude toward the church. He now is the leader of a local group called Reconciliation. Their objective is to help gay young people reconcile their orientation with their LDS beliefs, and ultimately the LDS church.

    * Paul and his mother escape to Utah. My experience with Utah Mormons is they would be less accepting and far more judgmental, than those that live out of state.

    * I had great hopes that your book could help gay teens and their parents navigate the treacherous water of adolescence. Toward the end of Chapter 12 on pages 160 and 161, a pivotal point was reached, where I thought the book might take Paul in a new direction. The two paragraphs in italics on those pages raise the most important questions in the book that go far beyond “sex with guys… is fun.” Of course, Paul is a high school kid. He has not yet reached the maturity to explore the richness of a relationship that gives affirmation to the sexuality of a significant other. Nor is he ready for finding the love of his life, leading to a satisfying relationship with that person. Paul has a long way yet to grow. In a sequel, Paul may attend college and acquire critical thinking skills that he then uses to examine the truth claims of Mormonism. In the age of the printing press and the internet, there is an abundance of evidence that makes it quite easy to do such an examination, but Mormons assiduously avoid anything that has a tiny hint of anti-Mormonism. Very few have examined their beliefs. Instead, they are taught from childhood, “Repeat after me. I know the gospel is true. Now say it over and over again for a lifetime.”

    * The underlying premise of your novel is that the gospel is true, and personal happiness can only be attained by living its principals. The possibility that this premise may be false is never questioned. Of course, if the script did not follow this line of thinking, devout Mormons would not touch the book. It remains to be seen if they will read your book, even though it is true to church teachings. Mormonism seems to work for my siblings, but it did not bring me happiness, and I am acquainted with a large group of friends that also discovered it made their lives miserable and many were deeply hurt by the church.

    * The book reinforces my opinion that homosexuality and Mormonism is fundamentally incompatible. Reconciliation will never be reached. Mormonism is on the wrong side of history, which will create endless friction, misunderstanding, and alienation between gay children and their families.

    In closing, I am interested in all writing projects that deal with Mormonism and Homosexuality over a wide spectrum of differing points of view. I have taken writing classes in hope that perhaps I can make a contribution. There is important work that needs to be done and I applaud all who try in their own way. I am available and willing to support projects of individuals or collaborative work

    Richard B. Teerlink

    • And now for my response to the previous comment from Richard:

      Dear Richard,

      Thank you for your thoughtful response.[…]

      On the whole, your comments seem both fair and accurate to me as regards my book. Obviously we come at the topic from different directions, in that the basic premise of my book–as you note–is from the perspective of someone who does accept that the Church itself is true. However, even for those of us who believe this to be true, I think it’s necessary to acknowledge just how hard the standard is that those who are same-sex attracted are being expected to follow, and what that standard entails for them. For example, I think it’s critical that members of the Church recognize that same-sex attraction is not a purely physical attraction, as in the passage you noted on pp. 160-161. I’ve tried to reflect that difficulty in my story, though (as you point out) there’s only so far you can go with a teenage protagonist in exploring the emotional/relationship side of things.

      I agree that Paul’s future path is largely left open. All of the decisions he’s made in this story will need to be re-made after he leaves home and passes from mid-adolescence (with its primary focus on establishing personal identity) to late adolescence and early adulthood (with its emphasis on determining the kind of life one wants to lead going into the future). As a 16-year-old, Paul is frankly not equipped to think realistically about what it means either to be married heterosexually (especially feeling the way he does) or to be single for the rest of his life. Who would be?

      There is certainly room for stories about teenagers who, facing Paul’s situation, make a different choice and wind up leaving the Church (literally or intellectually). I agree that it can be worthwhile to tell such stories. I sense some disappointment on your part that my novel didn’t wind up doing everything you had hoped it might do. As you seem to acknowledge, that’s more or less inevitable I think, given the difference between your stance on the issue and the one I’m trying to represent here.

      I think my book describes as positive an outcome as can realistically be imagined for someone in Paul’s situation from a believing Mormon perspective, if you take into account the specifics of Paul’s situation. Being outed in high school doesn’t have to be as traumatic as Paul’s case (and could be much worse in some cases, of course), but given the factionalism I’ve tried to describe (with the gay marriage amendment and everything else), I hope it’s realistic. I think it’s also worth pointing out that it isn’t so much that Paul is persecuted for being out as that he’s caught in the middle, in that fundamental incompatibility that you mention between Mormon and homosexuality as an accepted lifestyle (though I’m not sure the incompatibility you mention is precisely the same one I see).

      The people I’d really like to have read the book are those like Richard, Paul’s bishop–those who have never really thought about what it means to be same-sex attracted and Mormon, and who don’t feel any particular sense of connection to the issue (until something unexpected happens to make them realize it’s closer to home than they think). If my book could increase the chance of bishops reacting like Richard, that would be a pretty positive outcome, I think.

      In any event, thanks for writing. I appreciate your interest.


  2. Jonathan says:

    Comment by Maureen Keeler [posted by permission from an email]

    A well-paced novel that everyone can learn from. No one in the LDS community who struggles with a same sex attraction should be without a strong support system. This important book teaches us much about love and support, and I believe it may save lives.

    Maureen D. Keeler, LCSW

  3. Jonathan says:

    Comment by Ann Best (originally posted in response to my blog about Annette Lyon’s mention of my book):

    Yes! A well-crafted book by Jonathon Langford, exploring a subject that could very well have been a landmine. But that he managed to create believable characters in a difficult context attests to his ability as a writer and his ability to see clearly the issues from a Gospel perspective–and not be afraid to write from that perspective. Like Jonathan, I would hope that the novel would reach those people who work with young men and women struggling with same-sex attraction.

    However, in the end, as a reader (and a writer) I like novels that manage to be just that–stories about people and not didactic treatises. I can get my preaching from the pulpit. I applaud Jonathan for writing just that, a powerful novel that speaks to the struggles that all of us face in this life. Maybe we don’t have this particular struggle–same-sex attraction–but we all struggle in some way. How important I think it is that we reach out in empathy to all of our brothers and sisters, no matter what their struggle is or how uncomfortable that struggle might be for some of us to accept.

    Jonathan has reached out and written a powerful novel that I hope will gain the wide, and wise, audience it deserves.

    Ann’s blog is here:

  4. Jonathan says:

    Comment by Kevin Lindley, originally posted in response to my blog on writing a realistic novel:


    You know I love your book and admire your courage to paint an accurate picture of the challenge.

    I do want to say to Neil that I am a gay man who has stayed in the church, married a wonderful woman, who lives authentically, and who is truly happy. Not the kind of happiness that comes from doing whatever I want or what I think I “should” be doing. I’m talking about a deep happiness and personal peace. My life is very rich and I feel completely fulfilled by meaningful and intimate relationships.

    I am not the type to say that I don’t believe other men can make the choice to “come out” and find happiness in that choice. I don’t doubt that is possible. I’m not claiming that staying in the church is the only option. I don’t doubt that some men in similar situation are miserable. But I do take offense when people try to pretend of convince others that people like me don’t exist. I have dozens of friends who have made similar choices to mine and they are also truly happy.

    Again, Jonathan does a great job of portraying the challenge of same-sex attraction accurately and realistically.

    Kevin’s blog is here:

  5. Jonathan says:

    Comment by Laura Nielsen, originally posted elsewhere on this site:

    Since I write specifically for children, I’m not facing all of the same issues. Babies and toddlers in picture books are actually allowed to have indeterminate gender. (They’re wearing diapers and they have no hair. How else are we supposed to tell?) But I do try to stay abreast of what is being published for children and young adults, even though I only look at a fraction of the books I know about, and read a fraction of the books I look at. So I know that homosexual and lesbian themes are increasingly appearing in YA and even picture books. Parents ought to know that these books are turning up in school and public libraries, whether they like it or not. The most recent review of such a book that I read was about lesbian domestic abuse. (Um . . . no, I wasn’t planning to read that one.) One thing that makes NO GOING BACK unique in the currently published literature is the choice that it focuses on. Usually there is the unexamined assumption that a person who is same-sex attracted must act on those impulses sooner or later. The questions are always When and How. In NO GOING BACK, the main character still assumes he has fundamental choices about how he will act. That, in my opinion, is what makes this book important. Of course I can’t say how realistic it is. I myself suffer from Chocolate-attraction. It doesn’t carry the same social and moral baggage of some other attractions, but Chocolate does come with . . . baggage. But I do know that the characters felt real to me. In fact, I’ve been meaning to ask, how IS Paul getting along in his new school? Has he joined any more clubs? Grades OK? Oops, he’s not real, is he?

  6. anonymous says:

    I’m a BYU student and heard about this book from the school paper. I’ve never struggled with same-sex attraction and haven’t had a lot of experience with those who do. However, this book hit me in the face at just the moment in my life i needed it. I recently came across my own issue that I didn’t think I could handle: cutting. Somehow I connected with Paul (partially because of his required daily check-ins with his bishop which I have as well). Reading Paul’s story is what first made me realize that I can get past this challenge. I’m sorry that I am not able to explain more fully how I connect and what I mean.

    • Jonathan says:

      I appreciate your comment, and am glad that the story resonated for you. One of the things I was hoping people would take away from No Going Back is a recognition that while the specific challenges we all deal with are different, there are some basic similarities as well–especially in the choices we have to make about how we’ll deal with them. That’s something I think all of us can recognize from our own experience.

      Thanks again for writing, and I wish you the best in dealing with your own challenge. Feel free to email me directly if you’d like at jonathan AT langfordwriter DOT com.

  7. Anonymous says:

    I have not read your book but I just ran across it in a doing some research and I just have some comments.

    Based on the description that I read I would never read this book, because if your character is a member in good standing and striving to be a faithful member then I don’t think he would refer to himself as gay.

    I just think that from the description this book is giving some people the wrong opinion of the LDS church.

    I do not think that there are not members like your main,because I know from personal experience that there are.

    I am not saying this without experience I am very aware of the homosexual lifestyle and the LDS church’s stand on homosexuality. I am even doing research on the topic of homosexuality and the LDS church, so I am not just a naive person who stumbled across your book.

    I do not wish to offend you, but I wanted to state my opinion.

    • Jonathan says:

      You actually raise an interesting point, and one that I thought about quite a bit in the writing, since the LDS Church encourages its members who are dealing with this issue to use “same-gender attraction” or “same-sex attraction” in referring to the challenge they experience. However, it’s my sense that a teenager raised in the Church would not necessarily be that savvy or nuanced, and would probably use the terminology he’d grown up hearing around him (i.e., “gay”) in talking about himself.

      Part of the progress over the course of the book is in Paul’s (the main character’s) progress in his understanding of how his own challenge affects himself and how it interacts with his understanding of the gospel. I think it’s very credible that his sense of this would evolve over time, as he comes to see more clearly the difference between the world’s view of homosexuality and the gospel’s view.

      • Anonymous says:

        Thank you for responding to my comment and I appreciate and now understand your view on how your character develops and changes. I appreaicte you helping me understand your viewpoint, and now that I understand more where your character is coming from I agree with you on the point that your character would not know the terms of SSA or SGA.

        Thank you again for responding to my comment.

        • Jonathan says:

          Thanks in turn for your interest and your response. Admittedly, there are very different ways that Latter-day Saints choose to deal with this particular challenge. Deciding exactly how I wanted to show this was one of the bigger challenges in writing my novel.

          As much as possible, I’ve tried to accurately portray the challenges that are involved in living a gospel-consistent life while dealing with this challenge. Most believing Latter-day Saints who have read the book and told me what they thought about it seemed to think that I’d mostly succeeded. (For some comments, go to my website at and go to the “Reader Comments” and “Reviews” pages.) If you ever happen to read my book, I’d welcome your opinion on what I got right and wrong.

          You’ve said that this is an area where you have a particular interest and have done some study. If you’d like to contact me directly, feel free to email at jonathan AT langfordwriter DOT com. If you’re not able to buy a copy of the book, I might be able to email you a PDF review copy.

  8. Arenelda says:

    After reading No Going Back…I don’t know how I felt. I guess I felt grateful that such a book existed. I know there are a lot of young men and women who are struggling with this kind of temptation. And I know what it’s like. But just knowing that you are not alone is more comfort than anyone can give.

  9. batchelorboy says:

    Thankyou for adding No going back to the store of gay fiction.
    I have just sat here trying to describe how I feel having just finished the book, and find myself too moved. (In fact my partner has just come in and asked if I’m OK sensing something was up, and I could only tear up and tell him that I had jsut finished reading No going back and needed to write something to you – It’s nice he understands)
    In another forum you got drawn inro a dialogue on all the negatives of being gay & Mormon. I now feel that was so unjust as i see your portrayal of Paul and his circumstance can only be an inspiration and reassurance for other gay youth who strive to seek truth and compassion in their faith.
    Although older when I came out, I have lived my life striving to be true to my faith, but so often finding that it is my fellow Christians who judge, condemn and vilify the sick, the lonely, the homeless and the outcast.

    When Richard hugs Paul, I could feel the warmth of my father’s hug as having told him I am gay, he hugged me back, laughed and said he loved me. How a man in his 70s who had lived a life in Christian service, as a Methodist missionary and lay preacher, could find no other words, nor condemn me.

    As the friend Chad felt awkward giving Paul a hug, but destraught at the distance about to test their true friendship.

    At the fear that Paul would make the mistake of marrying and having children, only to find himself swallowed up by the lies and deciept that could only corrupt his faith.

    I trust (& pray) that your story continues to be available as every generation (ie Tim) needs every support to be gay and a person of faith.

    Graeme (aka batchelorboy)

    • Jonathan says:

      Thanks for your kind comments. It’s interesting how very differently different readers can perceive the same story. I’m glad that you found something in No Going Back that was more similar to what I had intended to put there (as opposed to the other reactions you alluded to).

      There are, I think, no easy solutions. Those who don’t acknowledge this (on any side) kind of miss the point. Hence the need for compassion.

      Thanks for writing.

  10. Jeff Driggs says:

    I just finished No Going Back, and found it a mature, thoughtful, and unique presentation of the extremely difficult situation faithful LDS who have same-sex attraction issues are going through. It’s neither a polemic nor an apologia, but rather a touching, engaging story that is refreshingly free of Lifetime Movie stereotypes.

    The characters are real and three-dimensional, and Jonathan deftly provides original situations for the main character, Paul, to deal with, rather than falling back on clichés. There’s plenty of drama to keep readers edgy and rushing along to see what’s going to happen, but nothing predictable or sappy. Jonathan doesn’t tie Paul’s life up in a neat little bow, with a “happy” ending that would anger one side of the gay rights debate or the other, but rather shows the choices that a person in Paul’s situation has to make, and hints at the struggles (and eventually the potential rewards) that come from his choice.

    I found it a totally realistic story that lets readers who may have felt less than charitable about homosexuals come away with a much more sympathetic attitude toward those who choose Paul’s incredibly difficult path.

  11. Jessa Larsen says:

    Just to start, I was raised in a Mormon household, my parents, extended family, biological family, AND in-laws are still mormon. I left the church at 18 for many, MANY reasons.

    As someone who grew up in a strict Mormon household, I am very much aware of Mormon teachings and beliefs. I was taught the same things Paul is taught. Unfortunately I also was told I was a terrible person if I didn’t do exactly as God had commanded and at one point in my life had some very bad experiences when I admitted I had some questions about the religion. I also ended up being disowned simply for leaving the church. Needless to say my own neighbors aren’t very kind to me or my children. I had a very hard time resisting the urge to toss this book into the nearest trash can, but I tried my best to read it with an open mind and objective viewpoint.
    Thus saying, I still couldn’t stand this book. The reviews by BYU professors and the LDS Sexual Recovery Program didn’t help. I thought maybe the fact that the author was an out of state Mormon would help as they tend to be a nicer variety than the Utah Mormons, but no such luck. He has the appropriate writing and story telling skills that someone with his education would have, but the subject matter is something I just couldn’t handle. I cannot agree with one bit of opinion towards homosexuality. I’m fine with people having different preferences and opinions, but there’s no need to be hateful and intolerant towards people with a different sexual preference. The only people I know that would like this book are other staunch Mormons.

    • Jonathan says:


      I’m sorry you’ve had those negative experiences with Mormons and the Mormon church (as well as obviously being sorry that you didn’t enjoy my book). I will point out that some people who have left the Mormon church (as well as some who have never been Mormons) have read and been moved by No Going Back, partly because they felt that the story didn’t whitewash just how hard it can be to live according to Mormon teachings in this area.

      I agree that it’s wrong to be hateful and intolerant toward people with a different sexual preference. In fact, one of the reasons I wrote my book was to try to show a very human side to this situation with true-to-life characters. If you’re saying that No Going Back itself promotes hate and an intolerant attitude, I don’t see how it does that.

  12. Mary Walling says:

    I finished your book this morning at 6 while it was quiet. I am truely impressed with it and I liked the ending. I think for me towards the end during Paul’s real trials with his being “outed” is when I really felt for him. I think, no I know, this is when I was brought to tears the most. I love your references to Ether. My favorite chapter in Ether is chapter 12. When my husband finally decided after 14 years of excommunication to commit and come back to the church the Bishop suggested that he read Ether chapter 12. He came home from that meeting and we sat down together and read it together and discussed it at length. It has since become my source of strength when things get rough for me and I can never read it without finding something new. I also love Brother Schmidt. Every ward needs a Brother Schmidt to bring us up short and make us realize our own shortcomings and help to humble us. What is that hymn? Truth Reflects Upon Our Senses by Eliza R. Snow. I love the message. It says it all in that one hymn. I also love the message the Bishop delivers to the scouts at the scout campout. We are supposed to be a loving and caring people. It still amazes me how many members of the church are not as loving and caring as the church teaches us to be. How stiffnecked they are. The fact that Paul moves away at the end of the book, kind of symbolizes for me a new chance, a new beginning. Like Christ gives each one of us and you have seemingly tied it in with Chad and Paul as each boy is blessing the sacrament…a renewing of our covenant each week with Christ. When I had my surgery on my right leg my Bishop gave me a blessing and in that blessing told me to take the recovery time to study the Atonement and the scriptures. I have been doing that ever since. I have been reading everything and have learned so much that I didn’t know before and have learned there are so many forms and ways of atonement for each one of us. That Christ has atoned for us in more than one way. You have shown yet another way, another form of atonement and that each one of us has our own burdens to carry, our own sins to atone for in one way or another. We never know what burdens someone else carries so who are we to judge someone else when we can’t even live our own lives the way we should? I love the way Paul has made the decision from the beginning that he is a believing Mormon and has decided that he will follow the teachings of the gospel. I know as a young girl, i decided not to date outside of the church. When I was a senior in high school, I went against that principle and dated the most handsome boy I had ever met and fell madly in love with him. The time came though when his parents found out that I was a Mormon(they were Catholic). He had been going to church with me and to the youth activities and liked the youth and the activities. When his parents found out, they were livid. It didn’t take long, when he gave me a choice. It was him or my religion. I would have married him in a heartbeat had he asked me, knowing I could convert him. This was different though. I knew even though I loved him, I would not give up my religion for him or anyone else. Hurt? Heartbreak? Yes! Regret? Never! But I learned that you stick to what you know is right. I never dated outside of the church again. I married a wonderful man in the temple several years later. Yes, he has made some mistakes, but not anything we have not been able to work through. The same with Paul, he has some real struggles to work through in his life, but he will be able to do it. He has the Lord on his side and of having the gospel in his life and of having made the decision before hand of livng the gospel. Thanks for writing this wonderful book. Any new ones on the way?
    Mary in Naples

  13. Mark Penny says:

    At some point I will have to get this book.

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